The true meaning of beauty

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."
– Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Ravishing

Holden has gotten a hold on me. This song is an enchantment that moves my body to sway back and forth, gliding my fingertips as the rhythm goes, and close my eyes. I feel it.

Uncovering long forgotten gems

I love discovering photographs. Especially photos that are as old as your grandparents or even great grandparents.

Work Space

Ever since I graduated from school, I've been sloppy and indecisive. The first thing that comes in mind is the word: work. Ponder and evaluate, I will not be in school anytime soon since I am going to start my full-time internship which will consist of writing about media, clothes, and celebrities. Not my whole cup of tea subject but I do enjoy digging deep into things that are a different interest to me because I've learned that doing things we don't really like or that are foreign to us makes things much more valuable and it can transform us to a higher self, and everything is not as predictable as we may think. Ernest Hemingway had created a sanctuary of a work space, his important value was that he wanted a place where it will allow him to pull out his strongest and most greatest thoughts and to come up with a work he can simply understand and that will intrigue humans to a interesting state of mind. Now I should probably find an enchanting place to do my work.

mind tricks

Lately I haven't been blogging, not because I've been too busy or don't have the time. The main reason is because my mind and body just hasn't had the energy to fuel whatever it is I want to get done. Lately, I just haven't had an aura of motivation or drive. Maybe it's because I am what you call a 'lost' or 'confused' soul, and I will admit it. If you were to ask my shadow or 'guardian angel' to describe how I am, they will tell you I'm a person that cannot be explained in the right manner, the direction I am taking has too many detours and delays. I'm not delusional or an idiot and i'm not trying to lower myself as a person, I'm just trying to be honest with myself. No wonder why people like to lie...being honest or exposing the truth can be a bit of a whirlwind. But the whirlwind of truth has taken me to many different states of mind, maybe I do like this confusing life of mine because I make it that way. Series of events that have occurred in my life would be so inconsiderately passive and with that effecting my thoughts and actions it all results to building my foundation as growing up. The ground which I am standing on right now may not be solid, but just like any other imperfect roads and concrete in this realistic world, there are cracks, and bumps, and even holes. Maybe my ground has more of those imperfect traits then others, and yet mine may have less. Back and forth, is what it feels like, the 'pendulum swing' as what one of my teachers would describe the history of life, our lives are subject to restoring force due to gravity and back to the equilibrium position, a time for one complete cycle, a left swing, then to the right. Steadiness and consistency can only last so long, changes and extrication always remains within this world. At least that's how I've experienced my living existence in this life, the only preparation we must get ready for is what's next?

Current

Currently I have been flipping through pages of magazines, gazing and admiring fashion editorials, exploring fascinating design books, and of course reading philosophical books that has kept me highly entertained, provoked thoughts, and is genuinely helping myself live through our society. The book is called Status Anxiety by an English author Alain de Botton. He is one of my favorite authors in this modern century, besides Emerson, Morse, and Hunt, his style of reasoning and description has taken such a deep grasp in my mind and heart, this book has significantly taught me many attributes of self and others. Basically Botton had sectioned this book into different segments of categories. The first part are causes-love, expectation, meritocracy, snobbery, and dependence. Then the second part are solutions-philosophy, art, politics, religion, and bohemia. All these elements reveal the views of the universal anxiety that rarely gets mentioned directly, and basically an anxiety about what others think of us. It's so important to realize that us beings are created in a natural way to feel and think of how were viewed, what actions we take and recognize. Whether we're judged a success or failure, a winner or a loser, our life is revolved around the center of status anxiety. Botton examines origins of status anxiety- where our worries come from and what? evolution has effected our overall thoughts and feelings. We learn from philosophers, artists, bohemians, and nonetheless ourselves. If I had to reference a book that will help get a better understanding of where status anxiety comes from, this book ingeniously breaks down the barriers of how we can surmount the anxiety in our lives.

Here is one of my favorite paragraphs from the first chapter of Causes-I.Lovelessness:

5.
"The attentions of others matter to us because we are afflicted by a cogenital uncertainty as to our own value, as a result of which affliction we tend to allow others' appraisals to play a determining role in how we see ourselves. Our sense of identity is held captive by the judgemnts of those we live among...In an ideal world, we would be more impermeable. We would be unshaken whether we were ignored or noticed, admired or ridiculed. If we had carried a fair assessment of our strengths and decided upon our value, another's suggestion that we were inconsequential would not wound us. We would know our worth. Instead we each appear to hold within ourselves a range of divergent views as to our native qualities...Our "ego" or self-conception could be pictured as a leaking balloon, forever requiring the helium of external love to remain inflated, and ever vulnerable to the smallest pinpricks of neglect. There is something at once sobering and absurd in the extent to which we are lifted by the attentions of others and sunk by their disregard."

obsessed with these threads